As I understand the Bible, there is more.   Deuteronomy 6 gives me a blueprint of my purpose as a godly parent.

My purpose as a parent is to gradually transfer my child’s dependence from me to God.  Our children especially when they were little depended on us for everything.  And over time, we will help transfer their dependence to where they will no longer depend on us, but instead, they depend on the only One who will ever be completely faithful and true to them in every single way.  We teach them to depend on God.

How do we do that?  Deuteronomy 6 gives 2 Vital Principles.

1.      Love  God Completely

⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

This is the phrase that a devout Jew would say three times a day, morning, noon and evening.  Notice, the scripture does not say with some, or with a little bit, or with a percentage, but we are told to love God with all of our heart.  Many people today love God with a little bit of their hearts. One of the most dangerous things that we can do spiritually as parents is expose our children to just a little bit of God.  Let me explain to you why.

If you ever get a flu shot, did they actually put into our body?  To keep us from getting the flu, we get a little bit of the flu.  Just a little bit, which makes us immune to the whole thing, and I would argue that as parents, so many parents unknowingly give their children just a little bit of the things of God, making them immune to all of His goodness and glory and power and majesty.  They find themselves knowing just a little bit about God, but not knowing God personally and intimately in a life-changing way.

For our family Sunday is priority to express our love (or worship) to God as a family.  We also love God weekly by serving others, Kaleb (13) helps with the preschool class, Noel (11) helps in the Toddlers, Niki is part of the worship group, part of our DNA as a family is to love God by serving others.  The Bible is God’s love letter.  I try to read some daily and encourage the family in reading and memorizing God’s word.  I love the new phone apps such as www.Joansoft.com and www.Youversion.com that deliver daily verses or reading plans to my phone.  The second vital way to transfer dependence to God is to …

2.      Lead My Family Intentionally

⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

The key to teaching my children to love God is stated simply and clearly in these verses. If I want my children to follow God, I have to make God a part of our everyday experiences.  I try to help them see God in all aspects of life.

For us we try to eat dinner together as a family at least five nights a week.  We pray at each meal and talk about life and what happened during their day.  As stories are told and as life experiences are shared, it’s easier to include aspects of truth from God’s word such as how to treat others as God would want us to, being thankful, respectful and responsible.  We will also review certain bible verses that are helpful later.  Such as in times of discipline and correction (which are more often than I care for) Niki and I try to include God’s perspective, “Do everything without arguing and complaining” Philippians 2:14 or “Do unto others as you would want them to do to you” Luke 6:31, “Children obey your parents…that it may go well for you.” Ephesians 6:1-2.   We don’t want to beat them over the head with the Bible but we do want them to understand what God says and how we choose to follow Him in every area of life.

As a parent, I don’t want my kids to have a little bit of God.  I want them to see all of His power and greatness.  That’s my purpose as a parent.

Darrell

For more about the series, Leave a Legacy go to www.ridgefellowship.com

I want to share three principles we learn from Jesus on how to bless our kids.  I believe that if we do these three things, our kids will be fine.  Better than fine, they will be blessed.  These three principles we will learn from Jesus are timeless principles for kids.  They have not changed and will not change in the next 2000 years.   We’ll look at Jesus example in how to bless our kids in Mark 10:13-16.

Three Ways to Bless Our Kids:

1.       Loving Touch

¹³ People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them ….

Children refer to babies through pre-teens.   The word translated “touch” means to attach oneself or to embrace.  There is power in loving, appropriate touch.  Each time the word “touch” appears in reference to Jesus in the New Testament, it leads health or healing.

Loving touch is vital to children.  We have learned this the hard way in history.  For example, In the Thirteenth Century, Emperor Frederick, II was curious what language a would child speak if never spoken to from the time he or she was born?  He had fifty infants for his experiment. Nurses were not allowed to speak to these babies or to show them affection, but were to meet the only the most basic needs of feeding and changing diapers.  Within one year all fifty babies died.[i]  It turns out that a basic need is touch and affection.

In the past I have not been as affectionate as I should be.   I have said things like,  ”I’m not a touchy type of person.”  God has changed me.  I now know this is vital need for wife and children.   It also helped that in my excuse of not being a touchy person,  I sensed the Holy Spirit say, “Get over it.”

Other research about loving touch indicates that during their pre-teen years, girls need for loving and appropriate touch increases.  Dads, it’s the most important thing you can do to deter sexual sin in your young girls.  Honestly, its awkward for me right now because my eleven year old daughter is going through puberty, but I am learning to push past my feelings because of its important.   When our girls learn to be touched appropriately by a loving and Godly person, they’ll be more prepared to say no to inappropriate touch from an ungodly person.  Also research shows that little girls are often touched in a loving and appropriate way five times as often as boys, and yet the boys’ have the same need for touch.  When boys are younger they are more affectionate but when they turn seven or eight, rather than a lot of hugs and kisses they may prefer a pat on the back or to wrestle, but the need is still there.

2.      Abundant Time

How do kids spell love?” “Kids spell love t-i-m-e.”

Look at what Jesus does, ¹³People are bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples rebuke them.  In other words,  “He is too busy.  He is too important.  He’s got sick people to heal, teaching to do, don’t bother Him with children.”  But Jesus was not happy about that.  “¹⁴When Jesus saw this, he was indignant.”  The Greek word translated indignant suggests very strong emotion. This is the only place in the Gospels where Jesus directed such strong anger at his disciples. [ii]

I’m not a big race car fan, but I have to admit I am very impressed with the pit stop. A good pit stop will last twelve to fifteen seconds.  They change the tires, put in gas, change the oil, check the car, clean off the windshields and eat a Happy Meal, all in twelve to fifteen seconds!  Today many parents are doing what could be called pit stop parenting.  Sure we as parents spend more than twelve to fifteen seconds engaged with our children.  But not much more, I read recently that the average dad in America spends thirty-seven seconds a day engaged in meaningful conversation with his children.  I know I have plenty of excuses why I cannot spend more time with my kids, but they are not good excuses. The fact is I need to and desire to give my kids the time they need.  Do kids need quality time or quantity time? Both!

Billy Graham, one of the all-time greats, when asked by a reporter, “If you had your life to do all over again, what would you do differently?”  He didn’t say, “I would have done more crusades and led tens of thousands of more people to Christ.”  He didn’t say, “I would have opened up another institute for pastors and Christian leaders and built more leaders to change the rest of the world.”  He didn’t say, “I would have written another bestselling book that would have sold millions of copies and impacted millions of people’s lives.”  What did he say?  “What would you do differently if you had your life to do over again?”  He said, “I would have spent more time with my kids.”

 3.      Encouraging Talk

We bless our kids with encouraging talk.  “¹⁶And he took the children in his arms, he put his hands on them and he blessed them.”  He lifted them up with His words.  He didn’t say as I often do, “Hey, stop that! Cut that out!  He didn’t say, “One, two, two and-a-half.”  He blessed them, encouraged them.  One of the most important things that we can do for our children is to speak words of life, rather than the words of death.  Watch the words that you speak.  If you are like me, I often can be characterized more by catching my kids doing something wrong, rather than catching them doing something right.  Here’s what I want to be known to say, “I’m so proud of you son”  “If I had to choose any girl in the world, I would choose you.”   Encouraging words that lift up my kids.

Here’s something profound.  In all of scripture, there is only one place that the audible voice of God is recorded in scripture speaking to Jesus.  He probably spoke audibly more than this, but here’s the only  place where its recorded.  Jesus had just been baptized and a voice from Heaven said, “This is my Son whom I love, and with him I am well pleased” Matthew 3:17.  The one time God speaks out loud for others to hear, he says, “I am so proud of my Son.” Heaven is breaking open for me to brag on Him.  You are on the right track, Son.  You have exceeded my greatest expectations.  I want everyone to know, “I love you so-o-o much.”

Will you decide to bless your kids with your touch, time and talk?  I have.

Darrell

For more about the series, Leave a Legacy go to www.ridgefellowship.com

 So, if communication is a problem for families, let’s look at it briefly.  What family therapists have discovered is it’s not so much that communication is difficult in the family today, as that it’s LACKING. We don’t do enough of it.

Another common problem is that communication can shallow or superficial.  Communication among our families ideally should get to the feeling level.  The feeling level is where connection happens.

Here are the five levels of communication:

1. Facts — It’s 80 degrees and sunny today.”

2. Events — “The Spurs played a great game yesterday.” A little more stimulating, but nothing deep is really exchanged between us.

3. People — “Susie had a toothache.” John dislikes Aggies.” “Bill got a new job.” These are much more engaging, but be careful not to gossip.

4. Ideas — “I believe that Jesus Christ is God’s Son and Savior of the world.” Say that to someone, and suddenly you’re sharing some very stimulating material. The conversation can go deep or it can get heated, but ideas are exchanged and we share much more of ourselves in it.

5. Feelings — “I’m hurt today.” “I’m tired.” “I’m happy, bored, jealous, excited.”  This is where we live. This is where it gets deep.

As I read through the gospels about I see that Jesus was not only a good speaker; He was a great question-asker. In John 1, instead of focusing on Himself, the Bible says He turned to the men following Him and asked, “What do you want?” (John 1:37)

This might seem like an obvious question, but how often do we ask those we love, “What do you want?”

Think through some of the best conversations you’ve ever had, where you felt really connected to and known by the person you were talking with. I’m guessing the reason the conversation went well and went deep is because they asked good questions.   A good use of questions will get down to the feeling level.

Here are some good questions: 

1.   How are you (really)?

2.   What was your high point of the day? What was your low point?

3.   What was your strongest feeling today?

4.   What’s your favorite ___________? (color, place, memory, vacation, sport, hobby, movie, country, time of day, etc.)

5.   How did that feel?

6.   Tell me more about that.

7.   What would you like to do if time and money were no objects?

8.   Tell me about your life at ____ years old.

9.   List three people who have influenced you significantly.

10. What is God teaching you these days?

11. What are you reading in the Bible?

12. What are you reading, besides the Bible?

13. What would you like to talk about right now?

14. If I could do something to make you happy, what would it be?

15. Which means the most to you: when I do something nice for you, say something nice to you, give something nice to you, give you a nice experience, or touch you?

16. What skill or discipline would you like to master?

17. What’s on your “bucket list”?

18. Which of your ancestors would you like to meet?

19. What one fear would you like to conquer?

20. If God would grant you one wish, what would it be?

21. How can I pray for you?

22. What kind of business would you like to start?

23. What one thing would you like to change about yourself?

24. If you could give God one worry or concern, what would it be?

25. What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing?

Deep inside we all want to know and be known by those we love. With a little effort and creativity, we can achieve both.

Darrell

www.ridgefellowship.com

Jesus finished all that God gave him to do.  Listen to his last words….

Knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said…”It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:28 & 30

He completed what God sent Him to do. The sacrifice was perfect. The debt had been paid in full. The best news for all of us is that Jesus finished the work. The bad news is that we have unfinished business.  If your heart is beating, you have unfinished business. There is more that God wants to do in you and through you.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “It wasn’t his time yet” in reference to a close call with death?  It’s biblical.  “Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” Psalm 139:16.  God knows each day we will be alive, and if you’re alive He has work for you to finish.   He will give you strength to do it.

Do you know what your unfinished business is?  Perhaps it’s to finish school, raise your kids to know Christ, provide your family a godly heritage, or minister to a group of people such as kids, youth or the poor.  Maybe it’s to use your talents to make a difference in His kingdom or in His church.  Since God has put this on your heart, how do we finish our work?  Two Things are imperative:

1.  Make a Commitment.

You may be thinking, “I’ve done that! I’ve made a commitment!” Have you?  In our culture commitment is often seen as an eager willingness, but that isn’t commitment.

Here’s a good picture of commitment from history, In Spring of 1519, Hernando Cortez  sailed from Spain with 11 ships, and 700 men to discover a new world. They arrived with eager willingness, to expand the territories of Spain.  When they landed in Vera Cruz, their eager willingness waned quickly. Because what they discovered were violent natives that they hadn’t prepared for. All of a sudden the crew began to dissent. They began to talk to one another, ‘I want to go home! I don’t like the food! I don’t like somebody chasing me trying to cut off my head! I want to go home!’ Their eager willingness was gone. When Cortez got wind of the dissent, he gave the order; “burn the ships!”

That is commitment. Commitment is taking your passionate desire to do something, drawing a line in the stand, stepping across that line and there is no turning back. That is how we finish strong.

It’s exactly what we see personified by Jesus.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, He was battling over what He knew would happen. Scripture says that the stress and the agony was so intense that literally the capillaries in His skin were bursting under distress and He was literally sweating blood.  He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…” Luke 22:42a

Father, if there is any other way, please! And then, something changed. I believe this is the moment where Jesus stepped across the line and there was no turning back, and He says:

“…yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke22:42b   In that moment, it was on. If we are going to finish strong, we start with commitment, by making a commitment and refusing to turn back.

2. Take the Next Step.

It’s overwhelming to think of all that we need to do.  That’s why many lose hope.  They look at this huge chasm that separates where we are from where God wants us.  You say, “I can’t do it, it’s too much!” Yeah, you can!  With one step, after another step, take baby steps out of my addiction, baby steps to being a foster parent; baby steps to the promise of what God has called us to do and who He has called us to be.

That is why, we see, Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105.  God gives us just enough light to take the next step and just enough strength.

What’s your next step? What is it? You don’t have to map out the whole thing. God won’t let you even if you wanted to. What is your next step though?  Is it to cut up the credit cards? Is it to make the phone call? Is it to fill out your resume?  Sign up for a Growth Group?

In the Mexico City Olympics, John Steven Aquari from Tanzania, set out for hopes of an Olympic Gold in the the 26.2 mile marathon race. Sadly, for him and his country, midway through the race, he had a horrible accident.  He fell to the ground, gashing his knee wide open and dislocating his knee from the joint.  All of the other runners left him behind writhing in pain.  Over an hour after the race had been run and all of the other runners had already completed, John Steven Aquari shocked the world.  He hobbled into the stadium limping and fighting his way to the finishing line.  His leg wrapped with a little towel that was blood soaked.  He finished a race that virtually everyone else would have quit.  After the race the interviewers asked John, “Why did you do that?” And he said, “My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start a race, but they sent me 5,000 to finish it.

Some of you have fallen down.  You’ve been hurt, you’re discouraged, you’re not sure you can go on.    God is calling you to finish the race.  God did not send you to earth to start a race, He sent you here to finish it. Commit, take the next step and finish.

I’ll leave you with a verse I love,  He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

Who began the good work in you?  HE DID.

Who will carry it on to completion?  HE WILL

Jesus can and will strengthen you.

Darrell

For more about the series, “Jesus Can”  go to www.ridgefellowship.com

Over 500 times the word “why?” is used in the Bible.  We ask “why” a lot.  God doesn’t get angry when we do.

Jesus asks “why” on the cross.  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”[i]

Hanging on the cross, “Those who passed by shouted abuse, shaking their heads in mockery. “Save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!”[ii]

The next three words really hit the heart of their mockery when they said: “He trusted God.”[iii]

They were saying, “Where is your God? You’re trusting him?

Now admittedly, if you were there looking on at Jesus hanging on the cross, you might say something like they did as well. He trusts in God? Where is his God now? Because if you would have seen Him, you would have been deeply disturbed, because Scripture tells us very clearly what they did to Jesus. They beat Him and abused Him so severely, that He didn’t even look like a human being.[iv] There He is, looking more like an animal than a man, hanging naked on the cross, and they were saying, “You still trust in God? Where is He now? Where is He now?”

You see, it’s very easy to trust in God when things are going well, but it’s difficult to trust in God, for many of us, when bad things happen.

That’s where we all live at some time or another and you ask why? I don’t understand. And the reality is, we have to understand that we are not always going to understand. That’s truth, because we only see part of the story. We can’t understand everything from God’s perspective.

But the good news is that God’s Word gives us 4 things that we need to remember when we don’t understand our circumstances and ask “why?”.

1. God is good. [v]  We tend to project our present situation on God. When bad things happen we think God. But, our God transcends circumstances. That’s what we hold onto.  Cancer is bad, but God is good. Abuse is bad, but God is good. War is bad, but God is still good; forever, and it will never change. He is always good.

2.   God is for me.[vi]  Just think about how ridiculous this is. God made everything. He breathed the stars into space, and yet Scripture says He is for you. What circumstance could dare phase you? The all powerful God is your supporter; He believes in you, He has a dream and a purpose that is beyond the confusion of today.

3. God is with me.[vii] There are over 365 promises of God, one for every day of the year. Do you know what the most repeated promise is? I will be with you.  Jesus reminded his disciples of this after his resurrection, “And be sure of this, even until the end, I am with you.” Matthew 28:20

4. God has a purpose.[viii]  In all things God has a purpose. Now back to the cross, the purpose that many failed to see:

When Jesus said, “My God, why have you forsaken me” He was quoting Psalm 22:1. Psalm 22 is messianic prophecy that says the messiah will have his hands and feet pierced, people will mock him and cast lots for his clothes.  By saying, “My God why…” he was showing all who were there (they would have known the Old Testament well) to see that Psalm 22 had been fulfilled before their very eyes!

When everyone around the cross didn’t understand, the cross had purpose: “He was pierced for our transgressions, the punishment that was upon him brought us peace.” [ix] God made him sin, so that we can become the righteousness of God in Christ.[x]

So, no matter what you’re going through; never, ever forget that God is good. He is for you, and He will never, ever leave you.  There is a purpose behind everything. Jesus is there when you ask why.

Darrell

For more about the series, “Jesus Can” go to www.ridgefellowship.com

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One of the criminals, he looked at Jesus and he hurled insults at Him, The other one had a very short and simple conversation that changed his eternity and it just might change yours. He looked at Jesus and said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus looked at the criminal and said the most remarkable, grace-filled words in history when He said, “Today you will be with me in paradise.”

I love how Jesus interacts with this criminal on the cross.  It’s such a great picture of the forgiveness!  Jesus still extends this same forgiveness and hope of eternal life to all who would accept it.

Let me ask some obvious questions:

Did the criminal (who was going to be with Jesus in paradise) have the ability to get off the cross and get baptized?  Did he have the ability to serve or do any good works? Give an offering? Say “Hail Mary’s”?  Nope.  He did just 2 things.   The same 2 things you and I must do to be forgiven.

What did he do?

1. He admitted his wrongdoing.  He confessed his sins.  Here’s what he says,

“We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”  Luke 23:41

Notice he did not confess each sin individually.  I’ve heard people say, “you committed your sins individually, you should confess them individually.”   Not here!  This guy has what I call a “blanket confession.”   “I messed up.”  “I’ve blown it.”  And that was good enough for Jesus.   It still is.

2.  The second thing that he does is call out to Jesus.  He said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43

Notice he vocalizes his request. I think this is important because it goes beyond just thinking about it.  When I knew I wanted to marry my wife Niki, I moved beyond just thinking about it to asking personally, “Niki, will you marry me?”  Let’s say you are supposed to call someone but only thought about it.  Did you call?   When it comes to Jesus, move beyond just thinking, “He’s a good teacher, he died on the cross, he rose from the dead, I believe in Jesus.”  Make the call.  “Jesus will you save me?”  “Jesus forgive me.”

This passage, perhaps above all others, illustrates one of the most important truths in life and corrects one of the biggest misunderstandings in the world today. One of the most common misunderstandings is that, “good people go to heaven.”  Nobody is sure how good, but, most people today want to believe, “I’m not as bad as others, I hope I’m good enough, if I try really hard and I’m a good person that I will go to heaven.”

This passage illustrates perfectly: Good people do not go to heaven. Forgiven people go to heaven. There is a huge difference! Good people do not go to heaven, because in reality, none of us are good. Scripture says that God alone is good and that all of us fall short of the standard of God.  The good news is, good people do not go to heaven, forgiven people go to heaven.

Have you been forgiven? Just admit your wrong and call out to Jesus.  That’s it.

Darrell

For more about the series, “Jesus Can” go to

www.ridgefellowship.com

What is the Daniel Fast? 

The Daniel Fast is a biblically based partial fast. It is a method of fasting that men, women and young people all over the world use (and have for centuries) as they enter into the spiritual discipline of prayer and fasting.

There are two anchoring scriptures for the Daniel Fast. In Daniel 1 the Prophet ate only vegetables (that would have included fruits) and drank only water. So from these scriptures we get two of the guidelines for the fast:

1. Only fruits and vegetables
2. Only water for a beverage

Then in Daniel 10 we read that the Prophet ate no meat nor any precious breads or foods and he drank no wine for 21 days. So from this scripture, we get a third guideline:

3. No sweeteners and no breads

Another important guideline is drawn from Jewish fasting principles, where no leaven is used during the fast.  So that’s why yeast, baking powder and the like are not allowed on the Daniel Fast.

Finally, with all the above puzzle pieces, we conclude that no artificial or processed foods nor any chemicals are allowed on the Daniel Fast.

What Can I Expect?

The Bible teaches us that we are body, mind and spirit.  The Daniel Fast affects all three parts of us as we enter into a period of time for focused prayer and fasting.

The Body - Certainly our bodies are effected as our diet is changed, for some in very dramatic ways, during the Daniel Fast. Many men and women experience detoxing from caffeine, chemicals and sugar. The symptoms are most often headaches, leg cramps, fatigue and malaise.

Most people lose weight during the Daniel Fast. And many report healings from diabetes, allergies, arthritis and cancer. 

The Heart and Mind – Our emotions will also be greatly impacted during the Daniel Fast.  We will we experience cravings, frustration, anger as well as happiness, peace and joy.

During the Daniel Fast, your mind and body may very well rebel against the dramatic change in your diet. Experiencing and winning this battle over the flesh is often one of the most powerful lessons of the Daniel Fast.

The Spirit - Our spirit is that born-again part of us that surrenders to God and then abides with the Father and the Son. Our spirit is filled with the Holy Spirit when we yield to Him. During the Daniel Fast, we want to put our spirit in charge of the other two parts of us. When our flesh is acting out with a craving, we take control of it with our spirit (just as a parent takes control of a rebellious child).

Fasting is always coupled with a spiritual goal. So during this time of fasting, you will want to focus on prayer, study and meditation.

 An important question to ask myself . . . 

During your Daniel Fast you will have many times when you might want to “stretch the rules” a little bit. For example, even though the guidelines say we are to drink only water, you conclude that coffee or tea is a vegetable with water and therefore you will go ahead and drink tea or coffee during the Daniel Fast.

Learn a powerful spiritual lesson by asking yourself (examining your heart) the question, “Why do I want these?”

The answer will most likely be, “Well I just want them. I can’t drink only water. I have to have something else.”

The Daniel Fast teaches us to deny our “selves” and instead put our spirit in control over our bodies. As you plan your meals and eat your food, keep in mind that the definition of a fast is to deny food for a spiritual purpose.

What if I have health issues?

Fasting should never bring harm to the body. And if you have concerns, be sure to consult your health professional before going on the Daniel Fast or making any major dietary change.

The Daniel Fast is a very healthy way to eat.  It is a “vegan diet with even more restrictions.” So health professionals will support this eating plan, but might suggest a few modifications if you have health issues that need special attention.

Need Recipes?

Check out:  http://daniel-fast.com/recipes.html

Have more questions?  Go to http://daniel-fast.com/faq.html

If you would like to join us in fasting (in any form) prior to Easter,  just write “fast” on your Connection Card on Sunday.  You can also write a comment below.  You will be added to our growing list and I will be praying for you!  Darrell

www.ridgefellowship.com

Source:

http://daniel-fast.com/about.html

1.       Why am I Fasting?

Is it for spiritual renewal, for guidance, for healing, for the resolution of problems, for special grace to handle a difficult situation? Ask the Holy Spirit to clarify His leading and objectives for your prayer fast. This will enable you to pray more specifically and strategically.

2. What type of Fast?

Pray about the kind of fast you should undertake. Jesus implied that all of His followers should fast (Matthew 6:16-18; 9:14,15) For Him it was a matter of when believers would fast, not if they would do it. Before you fast, decide the following up front:

• How long you will fast – one meal, one day, a week, several weeks, forty days (Beginners should start slowly, building up to longer fasts.)
• What is the type of fast God wants you to undertake:
• Absolute fast:  no food or water for a period of time
• Normal fast:  only water, but no food or other drink
• Partial or Liquid fast:  liquids, juices, etc
• Easter fast:  like Lent, fasting or giving up something in the weeks leading up to Easter
• Media/Technology:  TV, radio, Facebook, telephone, etc.
• How much time will you devote to prayer and time with God?

Making these commitments ahead of time will help you sustain your fast when physical temptations and life’s pressures tempt you to abandon it.

3.       Am I Ready Physically?

Fasting requires reasonable precautions. Consult your physician first, especially if you take prescription medication or have a chronic ailment. Some persons should never fast without professional supervision.

Physical preparation makes the drastic change in your eating routine a little easier so that you can turn your full attention to the Lord in prayer.

• Do not rush into your fast.
• Prepare your body. Eat healthier meals before starting a fast.

4.  Am I Prepared Spiritually?

The very foundation of fasting and prayer is to seek God. Here are several things you can do to prepare your heart:

•  Begin your time of fasting and prayer with an expectant heart (Hebrews 11:6).
• Plan to listen.  When you run out of things to pray for, listen to God’s voice.
• Confess every sin that the Holy Spirit calls to your remembrance and accept God’s forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
• Surrender your life fully to Jesus Christ; refuse to obey your worldly nature (Romans 12:1,2).
• Do not underestimate spiritual opposition. Satan sometimes intensifies the natural battle between body and spirit (Galatians 5:16,17).

5.      While Fasting

Your time of fasting and prayer has come. You are abstaining from all solid foods and have begun to seek the Lord. Here are some helpful suggestions to consider:

• Prepare yourself for temporary mental discomforts, such as impatience, crankiness, and anxiety.
• Limit your activity.
• Rest as much as your schedule will permit.
• Expect some physical discomforts.. You may have fleeting hunger pains, dizziness, or the “blahs.” Withdrawal from caffeine and sugar may cause headaches. Physical annoyances may also include weakness, tiredness, or sleeplessness.

 Tips on Liquid/Juice Fasting:

• Drinking fruit juice will decrease your hunger pains and give you some natural sugar energy. The taste and lift will motivate and strengthen you to continue.
• Mix acidic juices (orange and tomato) with water for your stomach’s sake.
• Avoid caffeinated drinks. And avoid chewing gum or mints, even if your breath is bad. They stimulate digestive action in your stomach.

 6.      Make a Schedule

For maximum spiritual benefit, set aside ample time to be alone with the Lord.  The more time you spend with Him, the more meaningful your fast will be.

Morning

• Read and meditate on God’s Word
• Invite God to use you. Ask Him to show you how to influence your world, your family, your church, your community, your country, and beyond.
• Pray for His vision for your life and empowerment to do His will.

 Noon

•  Return to prayer and God’s Word.
• Take a short prayer walk.

 Evening

•  Avoid television or any other distraction that may dampen your spiritual focus.
• Repeat any of the above.

 7.      End  My Fast Gradually

Begin eating gradually.  If you end your fast gradually, the beneficial physical and spiritual effects will result in continued good health.

Here are some suggestions to help you end your fast properly:

• Break an extended water fast with fruit such as watermelon.
• Liquid fasts are not as hard on the body, but avoid overly spicy, fatty or sugary foods right after a liquid fast.

8.      Expect Results

If you sincerely humble yourself before the Lord, repent, pray, and seek God’s face; if you consistently meditate on His Word, you will experience a heightened awareness of His presence (John 14:21). The Lord will give you fresh, new spiritual insights. Your confidence and faith in God will be strengthened. You will feel mentally, spiritually, and physically refreshed. You will see answers to your prayers.

A single fast, however, is not a spiritual cure-all.  Just as we need to seek God daily and live under the Power of the Holy Spirit daily, we also need new times of fasting before God. A 24-hour fast each week has been greatly rewarding to many Christ followers.

It takes time to build your spiritual fasting muscles. If you fail to make it through your first fast, do not be discouraged. You may have tried to fast too long the first time out, or your may need to strengthen your understanding and resolve. As soon as possible, undertake another fast until you do succeed. God will honor you for your faithfulness.

I encourage you to join me in fasting and prayer again and again until we truly experience revival in our homes, our church, our nation, and throughout the world.

Darrell

www.ridgefellowship.com

Sources and for further reading:

http://www.creatingfutures.net/fasting.htm

http://www.ccci.org/training-and-growth/devotional-life/7-steps-to-fasting/index.htm

What is fasting?  Abstaining from something, usually food, for spiritual purposes

 What does the Bible say?

• Biblical examples:  Moses (Exodus 34:28; Deut. 9:9,18), David (2 Samuel 12:16), Elijah (1 Kings 19:8), Nehemiah (Nehemiah 1:4); Esther (Esther 4:16), Daniel (Daniel 1:12), Anna (Luke 2:37), Paul (Acts 14:23), Jesus (Matthew 4:1-2), the early church (13:2).
• Jesus placed fasting on the same level as financial giving and prayer (Matthew 6:1-18).
• Jesus said that there is a time for fasting (Matthew 9:15).
• Paul says we should give ourselves at times to prayer and fasting (1 Corinthians 7:5).

 What is the purpose of fasting?

• The primary purpose of fasting is to focus on God and to center our attention on Him.  In doing so, we glorify God (Zechariah 7:5).
• Outer fasting is to lead to inner prayer, worship, and devotion.  We “fast on food so we can feast on God.”
• Fasting is not for personal glory or any other selfish motives (Matthew 6:16-18).
• Secondary purposes of fasting:  fasting can reveal non-essential things that control us and take precedence in our lives (1 Corinthians 6:12); fasting can increase the effectiveness of prayer (2 Samuel 12:16); fasting can bring guidance from God in decisions (Acts 14:23);  fasting can bring revelations (Acts 13:2); fasting can help our physical wellbeing (Daniel 1:12); fasting can aid in concentration; fasting can help bring deliverance for those who are in bondage.   But these benefits come only when fasting is our attempt to diligently seek God.

What are the different types of fasting?

1. Absolute fast:  no food or water for a period of time (Exodus 34:28; Esther 4:16)
2. Normal fast:  only water, but no food or other drink (Nehemiah 1:4)
3. Partial fast:  usually only water, juices, and sometimes fruit (Daniel 1:12)
4. Lent fast:  giving up something specific for the duration of Lent (Ash Wednesday – Easter Sunday)
5. Other things to fast from:  people, media, telephone, certain activities/habits, etc.

We will fast in one of the ways listed above, once each week until Easter on April 8th.   Most of our church will join in a fast on Good Friday, April 6th.

If you would like to join us you can comment below or write fast on your Connection Card on Sunday.  I am praying for you.  God is going to do great things.

Darrell

For more about The Ridge Fellowship, go to  www.ridgefellowship.com

Source: Developed from Nelson Searcy Coaching www.churchleaderinsights.com

• More negative communication in marriage
• Lower levels of marital satisfaction
• Higher marital instability
• Lower levels of male commitment to spouse
• Greater likelihood of divorce

Cohabitation – the studies

There have actually been numerous studies that have examined whether living together before marriage is a good idea. The data shows that people who have multiple cohabiting relationships before marriage are more likely to experience more negative communication in marriage,¹ lower levels of marital satisfaction,² the erosion over time of the perceived value of marriage,³ higher perceived marital instability,⁴ lower levels of male commitment to spouse,⁵ and greater likelihood of divorce⁶ than people who do not cohabit before marriage. Although some of these effects might be due to the characteristics of people who cohabit (e.g., they tend to move from one relationship to another), recent studies suggest that selection is not involved,⁷ but that the cohabitation experience itself contributes to problems in marriage.

The reason why cohabitation may setup couples for failure in marriage is because cohabitation is just a test. Since all couples suffer from some incompatibility, when the other partner “fails” the test, the person moves on to the next partner. A succession of cohabitation failures results in an inability to maintain commitment – the most important part of a marriage relationship. Recent research shows that most couples who cohabit do not do so as a trial marriage, but just slide into it without any particular intent.⁸

Abuse and Murder

A nation-wide study of over 400,000 homicides committed between 1976 and 1994 calculated the rate of murders of women by her romantic partner.⁹ It was found that the incidence of was nine times higher in women who cohabited with men than those who were married.

There are a number of factors that predict success or failure in marriage. When considering a potential marriage partner, these factors greatly impact the average success rate for marriage (although there will obviously be exceptions to the trends). Some of these factors predict a more than twice the likelihood of divorce.

Divorce

According to a new research study, living together before marriage increases the chance of divorce. Cohabitation is a positive factor for divorce, which sounds good, but actually means that couples who live together are more likely to split up after marriage.

This information is based upon a 5-year study by Scott Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver. Stanley has been interested in the subject of cohabitation for the past 15 years, after he read a 1995 report on the subject.

In the control group who did not live together, only 10 percent had brought up divorce. This means that twice as many people who cohabitated had wanted a divorce enough to tell their partner. Dr. Stanley concludes that many people, who lived together, are less dedicated to making the marriage succeed than those who never had the same premarital address.

These studies are a great reminder that God’s way is the best way.   It’s better to marry, as the God’s word says, than to live together.

Darrell

For more on the series, Marriage Dilemma, go to www.ridgefellowship.com

1. Cohan, C.L. and S. Kleinbaum. 2004. Toward a Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Communication. Journal of Marriage and Family 64: 180-192.

   Kline, G. H., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Olmos-Gallo, P. A., St. Peters, M., Whitton, S. W., & Prado, L. M. 2004. Timing is everything: Pre-engagement cohabitation and increased risk for poor marital outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology 18: 311-318.

   Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.

   Thomson, E. and U. Colella. 1992. Cohabitation and marital stability: Quality or commitment? Journal of Marriage and the Family 54: 259-267.

2. Nock, S.L. 1995. A Comparison of Marriages and Cohabiting Relationships.  Journal of Family Issues 16: 53-76.

   Stafford, L., Kline, S.L, & Rankin, C.T. 2004. Married Individuals, Cohabiters, and Cohabiters Who Marry: A Longitudinal Study of Relational and Individual Well-Being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21: 231-248.

   Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.

3. Axinn, W. G. and J. S. Barber. 1997. Living Arrangements and Family Formation Attitudes in Early Adulthood. Journal of Marriage and the Family 59:595-611.

   Axinn, W., and A. Thornton. 1992. The Relationship between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or Causal Influence? Demography 29: 357-374.

4. Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., and Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 539-549.

   Stafford, L., Kline, S.L, & Rankin, C.T. 2004. Married Individuals, Cohabiters, and Cohabiters Who Marry: A Longitudinal Study of Relational and Individual Well-Being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21: 231-248.

   Thomson, E. and U. Colella. 1992. Cohabitation and marital stability: Quality or commitment? Journal of Marriage and the Family 54: 259-267.

5. Rhoades, G. K., Petrella, J. N., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. 2006. Premarital cohabitation, husbands’ commitment, and wives’ satisfaction with the division of household contributions. Marriage and Family Review 40: 5–22.

6. DeMaris, A., Rao, K. V. 1992. Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability in the United States: A Reassessment. Journal of Marriage and the Family 54: 178-190.

   Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., & Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 539-549.

   Phillips, J. A. and M. M. Sweeney. 2005. Premarital Cohabitation and the Risk of Marital Disruption among White, Black, and Mexican American Women. Journal of Marriage and Family 67:296-314.

   J. Teachman.  2003.  Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women. Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 444-455.

   Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. 2006. Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random, household survey. Journal of Family Psychology 20: 117-126.

   Paik, A. 2011. Adolescent Sexuality and the Risk of Marital Dissolution. Journal of Marriage and Family 73: 472 DOI: 10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00819.x.

7. Cohan, C.L. and S. Kleinbaum. 2004. Toward a Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Communication. Journal of Marriage and Family 64: 180-192.

   Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., and Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 539-549.

   Kline, G. H., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Olmos-Gallo, P. A., St Peters, M., Whitton, S. W., S Prado, L. 2004. Timing is everything: Pre-engagement cohabitation and increased risk for poor marital outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology 18: 311-318.

   Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.

   Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J. 2000. Pre-engagement cohabitation and gender asymmetry in marital commitment. Journal of Family Psychology 20: 553-500.

8. Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., S Markman, H. J. 2009. Couples’ reasons for cohabitation: Associations with individual well-being and relationship quality. Journal of Family Issues 30: 233-258.

   Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K, & Markman, H. J. (2006). Sliding vs. Deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations 55: 499-509.

9. Todd K. Shackelford. 2001. Cohabitation, Marriage, and Murder: Woman-Killing by Male Romantic Partners Aggr. Behav. 27:284–291.